So there's that.

If it works, that's great. If it doesn't, at least you know you're doing something James Joyce did.

-Allan Estrin

I guess they're "out" this season...

Gabriela: Can't a girl find a cocksock in Hollywood anymore??

Burn!

AFI Guy 1: Why are you guys talking about baseball? who cares?
AFI Guy 2: How would you know, you don't even have a team, Montana!!

Only two a day counts as quitting, right?

Hipster Guy: I must really like her if I quit drinking at work, you know?

Was it the pulled hair or squiggley lines that gave it away?

Waiter: Good morning, how are you?
Flustered Woman: I'm having a nervous breakdown.
Waiter: Oh, I can tell.

Well, a successful one at least...

Teacher: You want to know what professional screenwriting is like? I've been audited three times by the IRS because my profile matches that of a drug dealer.